Roads We Would Rather Not travel

I had a phone call from my niece today. We usually touch base every 2 years or so, but lately it has been every few weeks. This is a real record and motivated by her new status as, "mother". There have only been a couple of things that have kept my sweet niece focused one of them is her relationship with God and the other her marriage. Now it is her son, and with his arrival the tigress has emerged, she circles and protects.

As every mother knows, there is a little voice that begins to develop when you discover you are going to be responsible for a new life. It gets louder as our kids begin to grow and develop. We watch for every new step, figuratively, and we are ecstatic with each new accomplishment. The first sounds, giggles, syllables and motor skills. However, what happens if these "steps" don't happen. Our little voice tells us that they are simply delayed, and reasoning begins to take over. Until we realize that we can no longer reason it away.

Kelley and I belong to a special group of moms who have experienced "the voice" that tells us to look deeper. Her tigress instincts and educational background provided the tools that her son needed in order to pursue and demand answers that led to the diagnosis of autism. My son has high functioning autism and I regret that I did not get the diagnosis sooner, but it was not because I didn't try. These kids interpret their world and relate to it differently than the "norm", it doesn't make it wrong, but it does make it more difficult to fit in. That is the case, unless you have an advocate, a tigress, who is not willing to allow her child to struggle any more than necessary in order to function at a normal level. Thereby, achieving what is needed to be a productive part of society in a healthy way.

I am deeply proud of my niece and her unyielding determination to leave no stone unturned in order to help her son. He is already showing responsive signs of improvement and their journey will help others as well.

I don't mean to make this sound as if this is a special club, but it is a walk that is difficult, heartbreaking and exhausting. I don't know when it starts to get easier, each new goal that is reached is a huge blessing and a relief . It renews your faith in God and yourself . We all want what is best for our kids no matter what challenges they face and sometimes the hardest part of the journey is when you have to force yourself to let go, stand back, watch, and wait to see. Are they making good decisions, can they be responsible and are they growing into the independent people we know they can be? Sitting back is not my strong suit, but I am learning.

What is interesting is that I am also learning a great deal from my niece. We have learned that we have notes to compare as well as experiences, which provide insight that can be beneficial to one another. She sees my son's success and it gives her hope for her toddler. That makes me happy and it provides me with the solace that the journey has and is providing hope to another mom. Perhaps, even more important it gives my son the opportunity to understand and feel a sense of pride in his hard work and accomplishments as well.