Just A Walk

The best way to really get to know someone is to walk with them in "troubled waters".

The past months have been filled with experiences I never dreamed of, and they have been mind numbing, as well as incredibly mind opening. I have had people close to me walk through the valley of cancer, and the journey is life altering.

I thank God, that they have come through it. I thank God that they are smiling.

I met this funny lady with a wild sarcastic sense of humor ,while we were sharing chaperone duties of 60 High School Choir students on a weekend camping retreat. We became instant friends, and her daughter befriended my son, a shy quiet freshman. That was almost three years ago. She is a teacher, wife, and mother and wears all of those hats proudly, as she should. She can also now add cancer patient ( lymphoma) to her titles as well.

My dear dear friend, finally after enduring months of chemotherapy, which weakened her body, made her cry out in pain, and led her down the humbling path of losing her hair, is in remission.

Through hat shopping, food runs ( lots of cheesecake), sitting together ( laughing and crying), and taking as many pictures as I could of her daughter in school activities, etc., I have observed this journey . It has been a heart warming, and humbling experience.

I have been blessed every time I have entered her home. The love and support has always been visible, and can be felt immediately. Yes, there were moments of brutal honesty that I witnessed by a husband who was holding on to his wife, and a mother-in-law who showered her daughter-in-law in love and wisdom. I saw daughters becoming mature care givers, mother- hens, and always with the deepest respect.

The experience, though they would never wish to do this again, has deepened their family bond, taught them the gift of self sacrifice, and most of all that simple courtesy and respect matter. It has taught them the value of living every moment, and that nothing is more important than family.

This past weekend was the High School Classical Music Festival for Soloists. Her daughter performed in the small concert hall filled with three judges and only a handful of observers. As she began to sing, Rest In the Lord, her mother began to weep, and then the choir director began to silently weep. As the observers listened and scanned the room, they knew there was much more going on in that hall than a solo festival.

To see this lady, begin to regain her strength, laugh and live again is fabulous. What a beautiful family, what a great friend, and what a blessing.

Just a Day

Rainy days can become lazy days quickly enough. This past weekend took us to one of our favorite haunts on the Central Coast. It was beautiful, overcast with a bit of chill in the air. It was great to head to our favorite gourmet coffee shop, grab a cup and head out to see what was happening.

We visited a few of the local wineries along the beaten path, and found a new addiction. Mexican Dominoes! We haven't stopped playing since we discovered them and it has been hilarious.

So, rainy days, hot chocolate, hot coffee, perhaps a glass of wine, but definitely DOMINOES!!

Rain........Love It

There is nothing like a rainstorm to wash away what ails ya!
I love the rain, I have ever since I was a kid. My mom would make hot chocolate and we might even make a donut run, and just giggle together. When it rains , I think of her.

I think of other great rainy day memories too. I remember riding in my boyfriend's mustang back in 1970, and hearing the tires crunch over the leaves on a road in an older part of town. I remember how the air smelled and the sound of the windshield wipers. I can still see the way he held the steering wheel, and how he held his head. When it rains, I think of him.

I remember the giggles of little girls, and dodging raindrops to get into the family car. I remember introducing them to hot chocolate and donuts on rainy days.

I remember love on rainy days, and how fresh and clean everything seems.

...oh I love a rainy night..............

POT and the Phelps Factor

Michael Phelps has hit the news not for his gold medals, but for his extracurricular activities. Was it right to bring his "Bong" story to the public arena, was it fair that he lost the Kellogg's endorsement?

USA Today states:

Phelps, 23, and his representatives have not disputed the photo's accuracy. Phelps has issued a public apology, acknowledging "regrettable" behavior and "bad judgment" after the photo appeared. USA Swimming has suspended Phelps for three months and the Kellogg Co. has cut ties with him, although other sponsors are sticking with the swimmer.

Yes, absolutely is my answer. Phelps has been acknowledged as a role model, after his Olympic victories of Gold in China. He IS an Olympian, that means something and carries a personal responsibility of integrity. He used poor judgment and was caught, there are consequences for those actions. For Phelps the consequences were costly both figuratively as well as monetarily.

We have become a society that believes we can make up our own laws and thumb our noses at what the City, State and Federal Government sets forth as laws that keep us safe and civil. We see this throughout history, with dire consequences. Yet, people continue to conduct themselves with the frame of thought that says, "What I do, does not have any affect on anyone else."

Sorry, it does! People are watching, talking, and observing your behavior.
We all make a difference where we are, where we live, it matters how you choose to conduct your life because it directly impacts those around you. And, if you happen to be Michael Phelps, it influences a broader audience than most, and the consequences for his actions are greater, or are they?

The results of years of testing have recently revealed the link between smoking marijuana and cancer, in particular testicular cancer in young men. Perhaps the consequences of his actions could mean encouraging teenage boys to smoke and eventually lead them to suffer these consequences. Which is the greater price?

Autism Awareness

There is more attention being drawn to the subject of Autism today than in years passed. It is being diagnosed in larger numbers and can be seen in pockets around our country. My son was diagnosed as being on the high end of the spectrum when he was thirteen years of age. My great nephew was diagnosed at the age of two and is on the lower end of the spectrum.

After many discussions with my niece over the past two years, many interesting bits of information have emerged. I see myself when I talk to her. She is fighting a battle that has a clock ticking. My nephew has a window of opportunity to increase his skills, and develop socially to fit his age group before he enters public school.

She is methodically setting up play dates around his preschool activities, and therapy sessions. She his integrated music lessons into his program as well as enrollment in organized play at community centers. All of these experiences are meant to stimulate his sensory perception and engage him socially.

My son has started to become a part of the process for Jack. It isn't easy for him either, but he actually volunteered to share his experiences. I have learned a great deal as he has explained to my niece how he perceives his world. We all laughed as he told her, "you will have to ask specific questions or I won't be able to give you what you need." He explained how he sees certain situations as movies being played out in his head, it helps him gain the proper perspective.

He is literal in his thinking patterns and in order to understand the feelings of others, I was facinated to hear he compares it to white paint. By adding just a bit of black to turn a situation gray he gains greater understanding. The more black he adds the more negative it is to him. As I watch and listen, I am proud of his willingness to share so that Jack can have a chance to be better understood.

I applaud how he has learned to overcome many obstacles, and I am grateful to the teachers and people who have supported him all of these years.

Autism is real, it is not an excuse to behave badly, garner attention, but rather a condition to be understood, by the indivdual himself and those he enteracts with. It is a condition one can learn to live with, overcome and recover from. It requires knowlege, maternal instinct, love, compassion and determination. I applaud my niece for the determination to fight the fight for Jack, so that he can learn and fight the fight himself, just as my son has.

I pray for his success and recovery and thank God for what he has done for my son.