The flu bug has hit our house. My daughter was kind enough to send me an email that announced that our town was on HIGH ALERT for the flu. I called the high school this morning ,where my son attends, and tried to clear his absence. For the first time that I can recall, the system went to auto pilot, asking me to use the automated line to clear. That's a pretty good indication that my kid is not the only one out today.
There is something about the flu that makes you feel guilty, when you are not the victim. At 16 , I just want to stand at the door and throw things to him. I have a can of Lysol Spray in one hand and antibacterial soap in the other. The poor kid looks like an alien, glassy eyed and red. He seems to speak a new language as well, moans accentuated with a few grunts and quiet utterances. Poor Thing.
Yes, I go in regularly, feel his head, change the sheets, bring in iced sodas, milk shakes ( home-made), hot lemonade ( well powdered Vitamin C with Splenda....it's not bad and it's good for what ails ya! ;0) He has very little appetite , but craves the liquid. I'm just going to settle in for one of those weeks, we have had storms for a week and now the flu bug has decided to visit..it could be worse..I could get it ( Yikes!!)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Learning to Walk Again
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My day is usually filled with an inner stress, especially when I am around certain people. I try so hard to fight it, but it's there and I feel it wash away when I am alone. That was never me, to be filled with stress, anger, and so many negatively charged emotions.I remember when I felt peace and joy in my life. That was because I was not focusing on myself and how "things" effected me. Each day I feel renewed in the fact that it is not about "ME", it's about HIM. There is joy in my salvation, there is joy in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and there is joy knowing that I can lay my burden down and not only will HE carry it for me ...HE gives me peace...it's in His time, in His time, He moves when we listen and obey.
I know I alone cannot love what is happening in my life, some things we just do not have control over, and rightfully so. As parents we worry, we take things personally and we hurt. As human -beings, we make stupid mistakes, we hurt people we love out of ignorance and stupidity. When I remember to begin my day by giving it to my Father, then He reminds me ...to be still, do not speak harshly, it's not your place to criticise, focus on the positive things of this world. I feel peaceful, I slip ( a lot) because old habits are hard to break, but the reward is calmness in my heart when I listen.
My day is usually filled with an inner stress, especially when I am around certain people. I try so hard to fight it, but it's there and I feel it wash away when I am alone. That was never me, to be filled with stress, anger, and so many negatively charged emotions.I remember when I felt peace and joy in my life. That was because I was not focusing on myself and how "things" effected me. Each day I feel renewed in the fact that it is not about "ME", it's about HIM. There is joy in my salvation, there is joy in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and there is joy knowing that I can lay my burden down and not only will HE carry it for me ...HE gives me peace...it's in His time, in His time, He moves when we listen and obey.
I know I alone cannot love what is happening in my life, some things we just do not have control over, and rightfully so. As parents we worry, we take things personally and we hurt. As human -beings, we make stupid mistakes, we hurt people we love out of ignorance and stupidity. When I remember to begin my day by giving it to my Father, then He reminds me ...to be still, do not speak harshly, it's not your place to criticise, focus on the positive things of this world. I feel peaceful, I slip ( a lot) because old habits are hard to break, but the reward is calmness in my heart when I listen.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Time Flies
Saturday was my oldest child's birthday, my daughter Amy. She was 32 years old , wow!
It seems as though it was 4 lifetimes ago, when I think of the night she was born. I was 22 years old, frightened, immature, and pretending to be alright in the world I had created for myself.
As new elements were introduced into my world I realized how little I really knew about who I was. I was just beginning to figure that out when I said "yes" to a wedding proposal. I was still trying to figure it out when I found out I was going to be a mother, and totally lost after I became one. My life changed completely the moment she was born and my focus was on being the best mom I could be.
You never realize how you are going to feel, you can imagine it, but you don't know until you are able to walk again ( normally) and everyone has gone home. There you are , just you and this little person you feel as though you single handily brought into the world. You fall into a role, you think of all the things you read, the advise from friends and mom and you put one foot in front of the other. You make decisions about your career, are you going forward with it or will you stay home with the baby? I chose to stay home, probably a mistake, but hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? Pretty soon , here it is 3 children later and your oldest is 32...wow!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
It seems as though it was 4 lifetimes ago, when I think of the night she was born. I was 22 years old, frightened, immature, and pretending to be alright in the world I had created for myself.
As new elements were introduced into my world I realized how little I really knew about who I was. I was just beginning to figure that out when I said "yes" to a wedding proposal. I was still trying to figure it out when I found out I was going to be a mother, and totally lost after I became one. My life changed completely the moment she was born and my focus was on being the best mom I could be.
You never realize how you are going to feel, you can imagine it, but you don't know until you are able to walk again ( normally) and everyone has gone home. There you are , just you and this little person you feel as though you single handily brought into the world. You fall into a role, you think of all the things you read, the advise from friends and mom and you put one foot in front of the other. You make decisions about your career, are you going forward with it or will you stay home with the baby? I chose to stay home, probably a mistake, but hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? Pretty soon , here it is 3 children later and your oldest is 32...wow!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
He is Still Here
Even when the rain falls
Even when the floods start rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
I just love this, thank you Bobby! This was such a gift and it makes me feel "GOOD"!
Each day is a challenge to stay focused on Him, it's easy to fall back into old patterns of being negative. That doesn't happpen when you ask for help and you are sincere in your search. It's so funny, when I find my mind wandering I find Him, or He finds me. I love being HERE, knowing in my heart He is holding my hand. It's all going to be ok.
Even when the floods start rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
I just love this, thank you Bobby! This was such a gift and it makes me feel "GOOD"!
Each day is a challenge to stay focused on Him, it's easy to fall back into old patterns of being negative. That doesn't happpen when you ask for help and you are sincere in your search. It's so funny, when I find my mind wandering I find Him, or He finds me. I love being HERE, knowing in my heart He is holding my hand. It's all going to be ok.
Monday, January 14, 2008
A New Driver
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.- Proverbs 3:5-6
I was raised on the word of God. As a child of the 50's, my mother would gather all 4 of us together on Saturday night. My three older brothers brought out the newspaper and placed their Sunday shoes on them and brought out the shoe polish and buffed those shoes until they shined. My hair was washed and put into rollers and I slept on them all night long, if you can call that sleeping. It was a habit, a way of life, an expectation that I would accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord. I publicly accepted Christ at the age of 9 in my family church, Chester Avenue Baptist Church. I was Baptised by Reverend Mason, in front of the congregation and didn't feel any different when I left the baptismal waters as when I went in. I proudly memorized my Bible verses and participated in children's programs and vacation Bible school. I loved church.
As I grew older and circumstances called us away from my family church it was hard to still feel connected to God. We were in a different church, but the joy wasn't there, maybe because it was about the church family and not about my relationship with God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit..the Holy 3. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I discovered what I had been missing, the close relationship with a "friend", the burning desire to spend more time in prayer, searching for God's will in my life. That's when I began to hear about the"glow" that draws people to other people ..the inner glow of a life lived according to God's purpose.
I had a wonderful friend in Christ and several church friends that I felt a true kindred spirit with. They are still my friends today, even though our lives have changed so much sense those "young" days. We have all been divorced and gone our different directions, yes it happens. Some of us fall and trip and lose the glow that was so special in our lives. We continue to search for what is missing and wonder why things have become such a mess. The thought crosses our minds many times over the years, "the part that is missing is your personal relationship with your "friend". " Remember how you longed to talk to him and how you shared time together?
God has placed me in positions a few times in my life where I was so alone the only thing I could do was look up and say, " ok would you like to chat with me today?" When I would not pay attention, He would send messages to me through strangers, road signs, you name it. Well this time he has sent me a message through a book that just kept appearing where ever I turned during the Christmas Holiday. I finally ordered it, not really knowing why and sure it would only sit and collect dust. I picked it up a week after it arrived and finished it in a day and a half.
I can't tell you why but this book has struck such a cord with me that I am ready again for the "ride" that begins with me in the passenger seat.
It's All About Him...written by Denise Jackson
I am sure glad she listens to the little voice in her heart and questions, but follows where she is led.
Forget the former things do not dwell upon the past. See I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:16, 18-19
Thank you
I was raised on the word of God. As a child of the 50's, my mother would gather all 4 of us together on Saturday night. My three older brothers brought out the newspaper and placed their Sunday shoes on them and brought out the shoe polish and buffed those shoes until they shined. My hair was washed and put into rollers and I slept on them all night long, if you can call that sleeping. It was a habit, a way of life, an expectation that I would accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord. I publicly accepted Christ at the age of 9 in my family church, Chester Avenue Baptist Church. I was Baptised by Reverend Mason, in front of the congregation and didn't feel any different when I left the baptismal waters as when I went in. I proudly memorized my Bible verses and participated in children's programs and vacation Bible school. I loved church.
As I grew older and circumstances called us away from my family church it was hard to still feel connected to God. We were in a different church, but the joy wasn't there, maybe because it was about the church family and not about my relationship with God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit..the Holy 3. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I discovered what I had been missing, the close relationship with a "friend", the burning desire to spend more time in prayer, searching for God's will in my life. That's when I began to hear about the"glow" that draws people to other people ..the inner glow of a life lived according to God's purpose.
I had a wonderful friend in Christ and several church friends that I felt a true kindred spirit with. They are still my friends today, even though our lives have changed so much sense those "young" days. We have all been divorced and gone our different directions, yes it happens. Some of us fall and trip and lose the glow that was so special in our lives. We continue to search for what is missing and wonder why things have become such a mess. The thought crosses our minds many times over the years, "the part that is missing is your personal relationship with your "friend". " Remember how you longed to talk to him and how you shared time together?
God has placed me in positions a few times in my life where I was so alone the only thing I could do was look up and say, " ok would you like to chat with me today?" When I would not pay attention, He would send messages to me through strangers, road signs, you name it. Well this time he has sent me a message through a book that just kept appearing where ever I turned during the Christmas Holiday. I finally ordered it, not really knowing why and sure it would only sit and collect dust. I picked it up a week after it arrived and finished it in a day and a half.
I can't tell you why but this book has struck such a cord with me that I am ready again for the "ride" that begins with me in the passenger seat.
It's All About Him...written by Denise Jackson
I am sure glad she listens to the little voice in her heart and questions, but follows where she is led.
Forget the former things do not dwell upon the past. See I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:16, 18-19
Thank you
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
It's the Way Love Goes
The holidays are a time to reflect and cherish family. To remember those who are not with us anymore, but who have left an imprint so vivid and warm on our souls they will never be forgotten. Hotlines to heaven are not possible, we can't pick up the phone and dial the heavenly spheres and hear that special voice we long for. However, we can come together as a family and see through every generation the genetic connection, the string that connects each of us. In the midst of that we see our loved one. The laugh, the twinkle in the eye, the way GJ holds his head, Amy's wicked sense of humor, and all of it connects us to the generations of loved ones that came before us.We use to all hold up our thumbs and look at the curve, and my mother would say," yes, there it is that's Grandpa Stowers thumb," or it was,"look another redhead, there is only one in every generation and that goes back to great grandma Sarah." We are connected in ways we never really pay attention to.
Wow, family is such a great,wonderful gift. To be able to come together and share laughter, stories, music, and joy because we love one another is a precious gift. Sometimes we only realize it when it is too late. I think my grandchildren understand the "gift", they are my joy for so many reasons. First and foremost because of their own uniqueness, and secondly because of what they represent. They represent life that continues, life that connects them to warm caring people that walked before them. There is a part of me there, my mom, dad, grandparents and when I hug them I feel the warmth of family and unconditional love. What a precious gift.
I received many lovely things for Christmas this year, but the most precious to me were 3 framed pictures. One picture of each of my beautiful grandchildren and me and a time captured in the moment. I think of them often, as I do all of my children, and I feel blessed..mostly. The one that has strayed from the fold, I hurt for and then quickly dismiss because I know all things happen for a reason, for growth and in His time. The love does not stop, nor the appreciation of the gift...it's simply misplaced for now.
I heard a song and thought of my dad who has been in his heavenly home for 10 years and 6 months. He lives in my heart of memories and makes me smile, and my Amy has his humor and playfulness. So, just because we can't see them doesn't mean they are not present in some way or another. We simply have to look around for the twinkle, the chuckle, the prankster and there they are, present and accounted for.
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