Let's Close Our Eyes and Let It Simply Go By

Mother's Day is quickly approaching, again. I would rather escape than face another one. Yes, I KNOW I am a Mother and after 31 years, I deserve a day to simply be a "person". To experience motherhood is to be torn in too many different directions at once without a proper road map. The journey is bumpy,long and filled with unexpected mishaps, chaos and catastrophes. You can plan a trip, I am pretty darn good at it if I don't say so myself. You can make your lists and pack carefully, check the car out, tire pressure good, check, oil, good, check, battery strong, check, plenty of gas, check and you gather your map and enthusiastically embark on your journey. Only to discover that you have grabbed a map for a state that does not exist....the state of happily ever after.

You have turned onto a road you do not recognize, it is not the road you had planned to travel on and yet here you are. You are riding with passengers that you do not recognize and complaints are coming from the backseat in stereo and at the highest volume imaginable to mankind. " I didn't want peanut butter and jelly", "I wanted the pink balloons to match the icing on my cake", "Can we invite boys?", " I really need a strapless formal for graduation", " Why can't I play on the guy's football team after school, yes I realize I'm a girl.", "No, it's not broken and you can't make me go to the doctor!" " We never have any fun around here".

Yes, sometimes we ride in a clunker, on our journey,that has springs protruding from the worn out upholstery.We never seem to have enough sense to be bothered by it, we are just grateful for the moment and even for the noise. Then, we become painfully aware that we are not progressing as we should, we still have the clunker and our tires are balding and we cannot replace them. The complaints become louder and more intense. You trade in the clunker for a moderately priced reliable model all the while hoping for a smoother ride. Delightfully surprised, the ride does become smoother, easier, quieter, but you have learned to look for falling trees, nails, and other forms of accidents that will inevitably cross your path.

Life is never what we imagine it to be, the journey has been interesting, not fabulous, but it has been an education. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I would love a "do over", or at least there are times when I think I would. I dislike the fact that I now really get Frank Sinatra's tune, When I Was Seventeen. Yes, I would like to quietly observe Mother's Day this year, in my own way. I don't want to be reminded that one voice still complains loudly in the back seat, another jumped out of the car many miles back and another wants to drive.