"Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. " Buddah
When I reentered the halls of higher learning a few years ago one of my required courses was Religious Studies. I selected Eastern Religions, and much to my surprise , found them to be fascinating. I am a follower of Christ, that has not changed, but I found beauty and wisdom in all of the religions I studied.
Generally speaking, they all focused on a higher power, love, and striving for the greater good.
Amen
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
"It's not what's on the Thanksgiving table that matters but who's sitting around it."
Only God could have put together such a diverse display of personalities, place them around my Thanksgiving table and call them , "family." We are all quite different, we have peacemakers, antagonists, pacifists, observers, and pranksters to name just a few. I can say with complete honesty, that I believe that there are times that it seems that the only thing that calls us together a few times a year, is this thing called "family".
Why is there such a tug, an instinct or desire to come together? I think it is the bond of unconditional love, that we all find at the "table". Now the jokers, of the family would pipe up at this point and claim with comical voice inflictions, that it was the "free food". There might even be a snippet of truth in there, but the peacemaker, the antagonists, and the rest of the observers silently know it is the love that brings us back each year.
For those who are missing from our table, you are deeply loved and thought of today. Thank you for so many Thanksgiving memories, we plan on making more of them. ;0)
Only God could have put together such a diverse display of personalities, place them around my Thanksgiving table and call them , "family." We are all quite different, we have peacemakers, antagonists, pacifists, observers, and pranksters to name just a few. I can say with complete honesty, that I believe that there are times that it seems that the only thing that calls us together a few times a year, is this thing called "family".
Why is there such a tug, an instinct or desire to come together? I think it is the bond of unconditional love, that we all find at the "table". Now the jokers, of the family would pipe up at this point and claim with comical voice inflictions, that it was the "free food". There might even be a snippet of truth in there, but the peacemaker, the antagonists, and the rest of the observers silently know it is the love that brings us back each year.
For those who are missing from our table, you are deeply loved and thought of today. Thank you for so many Thanksgiving memories, we plan on making more of them. ;0)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A Special Thought
Life isn't a matter of milestones, but moments.
-Rose Kennedy
Guess that is why we often wish we could have one back to live over again.
-Rose Kennedy
Guess that is why we often wish we could have one back to live over again.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Change Is A Good Thing
I use to always say that I "hated" change because I always associated it with a negative experience. It meant closing the door on something familiar ,and the "unknown" was a frightening prospect. I thought of how it felt to leave the only home I had ever known ( at the tender age of 13), an acre of trees, pasture and a world where the imagination had no boundaries. I left that to go to a home that was considerably newer, modern appliances, a cul- de- sac full of kids. It was a move from country living to real neighborhoods, and not bad at all once I got my feet wet.
I have learned that people who handle change well, whether it is a move, job change, illness, or even a death, always focus on the positive that will ultimately come from the transition. What I have also learned is that the gift, or the positive result, may not always be directly related to what you are going to or through. For example you may have lost your job and in locating a new one, you discover friends that you would never had an opportunity to meet. These realtionships bring about new interests, hobbies, and a healthier lifestyle.
Change can help you develop a deeper confidence in yourself, deepen relationships, and even present greater opportunities for you to grow. The important thing to realize is that change does not have to be negative, you can choose to make it a positive experience and glean every morsel of good out of it. It IS a CHOICE.
Lately, I have had my eyes opened to how people view the world around them. I cannot believe how many choices of negativity I see everyday. If we choose to view our little part of the world that way, no wonder so many of us are ill, unhappy, bitter and full of negative energy. It starts small with one little comment , " It was really difficult", " I can't do that", "It won't make any difference", and pretty soon we have talked ourselves into defeat and even infected those around us.
It takes practice, watch and notice what is in your environment and begin to make a CHANGE for the POSITIVE...you will love how it feels inside.
I have learned that people who handle change well, whether it is a move, job change, illness, or even a death, always focus on the positive that will ultimately come from the transition. What I have also learned is that the gift, or the positive result, may not always be directly related to what you are going to or through. For example you may have lost your job and in locating a new one, you discover friends that you would never had an opportunity to meet. These realtionships bring about new interests, hobbies, and a healthier lifestyle.
Change can help you develop a deeper confidence in yourself, deepen relationships, and even present greater opportunities for you to grow. The important thing to realize is that change does not have to be negative, you can choose to make it a positive experience and glean every morsel of good out of it. It IS a CHOICE.
Lately, I have had my eyes opened to how people view the world around them. I cannot believe how many choices of negativity I see everyday. If we choose to view our little part of the world that way, no wonder so many of us are ill, unhappy, bitter and full of negative energy. It starts small with one little comment , " It was really difficult", " I can't do that", "It won't make any difference", and pretty soon we have talked ourselves into defeat and even infected those around us.
It takes practice, watch and notice what is in your environment and begin to make a CHANGE for the POSITIVE...you will love how it feels inside.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
A Visit Long Overdue
I have written often about my parents, and how much I miss them. I have often thought how wonderful it would be if I could have just one more day, one more hug, one more conversation. Then it happened.
I was going through a box in my closet and came upon a box of tapes. As I was thumbing through them I immediately recognized the handwriting on one of them. It read, 1980, conversations with Aunt Nannie , Aunt Tama, and Uncle Wallace. I had a fire in my home five years ago and thought that this treasure had been lost, and here it was. My mother was raised in Oklahoma, and at the time of this tape my parents were vacationing in my mother's home town of Retrop all the way from California.
My son only knows of my mother through stories and pictures. This was almost more than I could have hoped for. We put the tape into the tape machine and anxiously waited. There she was, there they both were; laughing speaking over one another in conversation anxious to share a story or ask a question. The laughter was contagious as my son and I began to join in, and I began to interject thoughts as if I were talking to a T.V. program.
I knew the characters, I knew their speaking style and 25 years could not change that. It was as easy as riding a bicycle, there, familiar, warm, inviting, and oh so comforting. By the end of the 60 min tape I had what I had wished for, and more.
They're not gone; they are still teaching me lessons. Lessons that I know and have lived by, the love of family, the desire to appreciate my heritage, the joy of simple heart felt conversation in all of its simplicity. They were simple, real people who worked with their hands and brought great laughter into my life and now my son has met them . What a wonderful visit!
I was going through a box in my closet and came upon a box of tapes. As I was thumbing through them I immediately recognized the handwriting on one of them. It read, 1980, conversations with Aunt Nannie , Aunt Tama, and Uncle Wallace. I had a fire in my home five years ago and thought that this treasure had been lost, and here it was. My mother was raised in Oklahoma, and at the time of this tape my parents were vacationing in my mother's home town of Retrop all the way from California.
My son only knows of my mother through stories and pictures. This was almost more than I could have hoped for. We put the tape into the tape machine and anxiously waited. There she was, there they both were; laughing speaking over one another in conversation anxious to share a story or ask a question. The laughter was contagious as my son and I began to join in, and I began to interject thoughts as if I were talking to a T.V. program.
I knew the characters, I knew their speaking style and 25 years could not change that. It was as easy as riding a bicycle, there, familiar, warm, inviting, and oh so comforting. By the end of the 60 min tape I had what I had wished for, and more.
They're not gone; they are still teaching me lessons. Lessons that I know and have lived by, the love of family, the desire to appreciate my heritage, the joy of simple heart felt conversation in all of its simplicity. They were simple, real people who worked with their hands and brought great laughter into my life and now my son has met them . What a wonderful visit!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Learning Curve
I have been substitute teaching all week. The first four days I was in Junior High teaching Chorale Music and Music Appreciation. Today I was teaching at the Elementary School , in Third grade. It is amazing how fast one has to change their game up to attend to the current schedule. One day it is the mature "straight to it" teaching style and the next day we degenerate to Gumby and Clarabelle the clown. Techniques, all techniques to get our young ones to learn, and actually it is more out of a desire to instill a desire for learning in them.
I love teaching, even in this crazy forum. I would have been fabulous had I only started 15 years earlier, but I can still make a "mark" a small one and that is better than doing nothing at all. I love kids, but I have said that before too. They are all sponges , just waiting to soak up what is presented to them. Unfortunately, some of that isn't always the best and you can tell the difference between those who are guided and those who are not.
I am still on my own quest for learning and willing myself to stay in the positive frame of mind that attracts the positive to me and all for my greater good. It certainly makes it easier to see the negative in my life very quickly, and try to correct it or move away from it. I feel it drain my energy if I linger around it too long, weird. I always tried to hang in and change it and that left me feeling befuddled in my head. Even I can learn! YEAH!
I love teaching, even in this crazy forum. I would have been fabulous had I only started 15 years earlier, but I can still make a "mark" a small one and that is better than doing nothing at all. I love kids, but I have said that before too. They are all sponges , just waiting to soak up what is presented to them. Unfortunately, some of that isn't always the best and you can tell the difference between those who are guided and those who are not.
I am still on my own quest for learning and willing myself to stay in the positive frame of mind that attracts the positive to me and all for my greater good. It certainly makes it easier to see the negative in my life very quickly, and try to correct it or move away from it. I feel it drain my energy if I linger around it too long, weird. I always tried to hang in and change it and that left me feeling befuddled in my head. Even I can learn! YEAH!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Nana's Delight
I am one of those women who loves kids, little itty bitty babies, most toddlers, elementary, junior high and even high school. I find them fascinating, spontaneous, courageous, and sometimes provocatively honest.
I also happen to be one of those women who adores road trips with kids, lazy days at home with kids and hanging out conversing with kids. They make me laugh, smile, worry at times and always , always make me think.
I have taught Sunday School classes in the past, substitute teach in our many school districts, and can say that I have had only a couple of memorable days in class where I Almost changed my opinion. :0(
I know that if we expect the best in kids and tell them, not only do we expect it, but we are confident they have what it takes to deliver the goods, we can see positive actions. I know if we closely monitor, redo what they have done to make it "better", and constantly remind them of what they did wrong instead of what they did right, we will help a kid lose their confidence.
I have done BOTH, all with the best of intentions, but the results were the same. If we really try to speak words of encouragement, and positive reinforcement we will help our kids develop strong positive self images.
I am in the process of trying to undo damage, not that I was a negative mom ( YIKES), but I overcompensated. So, a lesson learned is, never be too grown up that you cannot say, "I made a mistake", this is what, why, and how, I messed you up.......hate me now not later, .....we can fix this ...we can do this....no, YOU CAN DO THIS and SOOOOO MUCH MORE! I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Oh, and it's always nice to include a picture of a happy day at Nana's House!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Buying A Hat
I have never been a hat wearer ( is there such a thing??), I like hats, I appreciate hats on other people, but I never gave it much thought personally. However, this weekend I went on the search for the perfect hat. This hat had to say, " I am sassy, I am sexy and I am classy, chic and worthy of your glance." Now, that is one tall order for a hat. Nonetheless, I was going to find such a hat, and it needed to be ..yes, red!
Why red? Red says I am bold, unafraid, unabashed, and courageous. It says sexy, and feminine fire. I like red! This is still quite a tall order for hat, but I was determined.
This hat had to sit on the head in a cool , confident manner and leave enough style that a pair of coooool earrings would make everything under it look absolutely splendid. So I continued my search in the California Coastal town of Cambria, and it was there that I found "the" hat..the most perfect hat. So perfect , I bought three of them..yes "3". One in RED, Classy Beige, and Striking Black. These hats will be perfect!
They are for my dear friend, who received her first haircut from the hands of her daughters, 17, and 19 years old. She has lymphoma and these hats are perfect for her new haircut, her style and her grace.
I love you Shelly!
Why red? Red says I am bold, unafraid, unabashed, and courageous. It says sexy, and feminine fire. I like red! This is still quite a tall order for hat, but I was determined.
This hat had to sit on the head in a cool , confident manner and leave enough style that a pair of coooool earrings would make everything under it look absolutely splendid. So I continued my search in the California Coastal town of Cambria, and it was there that I found "the" hat..the most perfect hat. So perfect , I bought three of them..yes "3". One in RED, Classy Beige, and Striking Black. These hats will be perfect!
They are for my dear friend, who received her first haircut from the hands of her daughters, 17, and 19 years old. She has lymphoma and these hats are perfect for her new haircut, her style and her grace.
I love you Shelly!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Just Had to Share a Treasure
While I was searching for daily inspiration to send to my dear friend, I discovered the passage below. A college student from NYU in 2004 had posed a question, What is the Real Meaning Of Life?, into an online forum and this was one of the many responces he received. I loved it.
Give more than you take. Do your best to leave every situation better than you found it. Seek beauty in all its forms. Chase dreams. Watch sunsets. Endeavor to use more than 10 percent of your brain. Don't stifle your deep-from-the-gut, cleansing laughter. Take a moment to ponder the enormity of the universe, then admit to yourself that you can't possibly be the center. Breathe deeply. Swim into the dark water. Let yourself cry when your body tells you to. Love more. Delight in silliness. Don't be bitter. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.--Katy Rhodes
Give more than you take. Do your best to leave every situation better than you found it. Seek beauty in all its forms. Chase dreams. Watch sunsets. Endeavor to use more than 10 percent of your brain. Don't stifle your deep-from-the-gut, cleansing laughter. Take a moment to ponder the enormity of the universe, then admit to yourself that you can't possibly be the center. Breathe deeply. Swim into the dark water. Let yourself cry when your body tells you to. Love more. Delight in silliness. Don't be bitter. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.--Katy Rhodes
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I'll Never Stop Growing!
Living a life of meaning, means that you have to keep living--keep "engaging up, keep sparkling." You can only do this if you keep questioning. Doubts and questions are what make our path in life so dynamic. If we are afraid to ask and reassess, what feels fresh today may feel stale tomorrow. This sounds like something my grandmother and mom would have said. I think there is truth in it.
I have a few people in my life that cannot look at the person I am today. They base their opinion on the person I use to be in the 80's...well this isn't the 80's anymore and we have all experienced many things, personally, as citizens of our local communities and state ( not the state of confusion..) and our nation. We learn and grow from each, changing, growing...evolving.
The one thing that rings true, is that the spirit and determination of positive thinking can do amazing things. Negativity will literally suck the life out of you and leave you feeling hopeless, but positive thinking, providing positive reinforcement to others through our actions or words can move mountains, build strong character in our children, and give hope to those in need.
Don't be afraid to "sparkle" where you are in this moment , don't be afraid to learn ,grow and reach out with a Spirit of Positive thinking, and yes Tex, love!
I have a few people in my life that cannot look at the person I am today. They base their opinion on the person I use to be in the 80's...well this isn't the 80's anymore and we have all experienced many things, personally, as citizens of our local communities and state ( not the state of confusion..) and our nation. We learn and grow from each, changing, growing...evolving.
The one thing that rings true, is that the spirit and determination of positive thinking can do amazing things. Negativity will literally suck the life out of you and leave you feeling hopeless, but positive thinking, providing positive reinforcement to others through our actions or words can move mountains, build strong character in our children, and give hope to those in need.
Don't be afraid to "sparkle" where you are in this moment , don't be afraid to learn ,grow and reach out with a Spirit of Positive thinking, and yes Tex, love!
Sit Back and REALLY Enjoy the Ride
This week I have been focusing on change and how to slowly make changes on the inside, in order to see results on the outside. No, I am not talking about nutrition, yet it is nutrition for the soul, and I am not talking about plastic surgery, although I could.
I received a gift for my birthday this year that has helped me and encouraged me to look at my " truth" and search for the "integrity" in my life. Not by making huge drastic changes initially, but by seeking within, and eliminating negativity. I can say, even though it has been small steps, I feel peaceful and encouraged.
Sooooo....this is what I have discovered:
It is easy to judge your path when the results are obvious. Are you happy? Are you successful? But when you are on the path to living the life you want, what really matters is not the immediate outcome, but the meaning that it brings to your life. You know there is meaning, when the process starts to matter more, than the end results. It is then that we can APPRECIATE the ride, the moment..the NOW....knowing what ever is coming is going to be even better.
I received a gift for my birthday this year that has helped me and encouraged me to look at my " truth" and search for the "integrity" in my life. Not by making huge drastic changes initially, but by seeking within, and eliminating negativity. I can say, even though it has been small steps, I feel peaceful and encouraged.
Sooooo....this is what I have discovered:
It is easy to judge your path when the results are obvious. Are you happy? Are you successful? But when you are on the path to living the life you want, what really matters is not the immediate outcome, but the meaning that it brings to your life. You know there is meaning, when the process starts to matter more, than the end results. It is then that we can APPRECIATE the ride, the moment..the NOW....knowing what ever is coming is going to be even better.
IT's Time To Celebrate ME!
"It's so important to realize that you are a person endowed with many gifts. Recognize these qualities and celebrate them."
As a Christian, I believe that I was and am created in God's image and have unique traits that make me .."me". Sometimes as we travel life's road we lose sight of the "who" and the "what" that makes us special as individual beings sharing this space and time right now. However, I have learned recently that I can truly give myself permission to celebrate "me"and the attributes that make me unique.
It's so easy to look at the negative in our world and in ourselves and to be critical. When we consider celebrating the good things about ourselves we shy away and consider it boasting ,self centered, or arrogant. Why??
You have to appreciate your gifts, your uniqueness, before you can use them to be happy with yourself, to develop self confidence, and then give to others and ultimately to discover the life you want and deserve.
Living in the positive...like Martha Stewart says.."Is a Good Thing! "
As a Christian, I believe that I was and am created in God's image and have unique traits that make me .."me". Sometimes as we travel life's road we lose sight of the "who" and the "what" that makes us special as individual beings sharing this space and time right now. However, I have learned recently that I can truly give myself permission to celebrate "me"and the attributes that make me unique.
It's so easy to look at the negative in our world and in ourselves and to be critical. When we consider celebrating the good things about ourselves we shy away and consider it boasting ,self centered, or arrogant. Why??
You have to appreciate your gifts, your uniqueness, before you can use them to be happy with yourself, to develop self confidence, and then give to others and ultimately to discover the life you want and deserve.
Living in the positive...like Martha Stewart says.."Is a Good Thing! "
Ahhh..To Live In the Present
To discover the life you want, you need to be living in the present. Present--put resentments, anger, blame behind , take a deep breath, and just be here now. To move ahead, we have to fully understand our current state. Count to three and realize that this moment is sacred.
To be here now, is a gift, to be appreciated and not squandered or wasted by negative energy. Each day is an opportunity to connect with someone, to help if you can or to encourage. Our tongue is more powerful than most of us think. We speak our world into existence by the words we speak, if we speak negativity then we reap negativity, if we speak encouragement and positive views then our world ( mentally at first ) becomes empowered.
We can choose to send our loved ones on their way each day with words of support, kindness and encouragement or leave them feeling empty and hopeless inside. Spreading the good stuff sounds much better to me!
To be here now, is a gift, to be appreciated and not squandered or wasted by negative energy. Each day is an opportunity to connect with someone, to help if you can or to encourage. Our tongue is more powerful than most of us think. We speak our world into existence by the words we speak, if we speak negativity then we reap negativity, if we speak encouragement and positive views then our world ( mentally at first ) becomes empowered.
We can choose to send our loved ones on their way each day with words of support, kindness and encouragement or leave them feeling empty and hopeless inside. Spreading the good stuff sounds much better to me!
One look Back..many steps forward
"We all get stuck in our lives. The lucky ones, once; the rest of us, quite often. In order to live the life you dream, you need to figure out what got you stuck in the first place. What is it you need to move forward from? When was it you first thought, "My life was supposed to be different?" You need to look back in order to move forward. "
I have been here before, and I bravely moved forward and after I did, I wished I could have ran for shelter. It made me frightened, excited, terrified, giddy, but most of all liberated. I left a marriage with two young girls in tow, desperately seeking a better life. IT WAS HARD!
I made mistakes and fell on my face, and picked myself up and moved forward again. Now 18 years later, I am still wondering who I am, or at least I was.
No one can make you feel anything about yourself , unless you allow it. Only I know ( and my creator) my heart, my soul, and what makes it sing. Looking back, taking a moment to reassess and appreciate myself is the beginning to the new life that is waiting for me....baby steps.
I have been here before, and I bravely moved forward and after I did, I wished I could have ran for shelter. It made me frightened, excited, terrified, giddy, but most of all liberated. I left a marriage with two young girls in tow, desperately seeking a better life. IT WAS HARD!
I made mistakes and fell on my face, and picked myself up and moved forward again. Now 18 years later, I am still wondering who I am, or at least I was.
No one can make you feel anything about yourself , unless you allow it. Only I know ( and my creator) my heart, my soul, and what makes it sing. Looking back, taking a moment to reassess and appreciate myself is the beginning to the new life that is waiting for me....baby steps.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Blessings
I have a friend, who took me in and made me feel welcome, as an older mom seeing her last child off to high school. I met her while we were chaperons for one of the many activities the High School Chorale was engaged in my son's freshman year. She has quite the sharp, sarcastic sense of humor, she's the one who mumbles something obnoxiously funny under her breath while someone of authority is speaking. Oh you want so badly to chuckle out loud, and you must restrain yourself ..you know the type. Well, I adore her.
Last year she wasn't feeling her best, and she is a powerhouse, take charge and plow through, type of gal. I substituted in her classroom several times for her last year ( even though first grade is really not my thing..oh my), as well as co-chaired a fund raiser for our PATS Choir group to help her out. It was a bit of a messy year, as they can sometimes be, and she felt like a failure. She grumbled a lot about her health issues, being tired, low fever, swelling of the neck, and the doctors could find nothing wrong with her.
She forged ahead in her usual fashion, all the while feeling like a complaining menopausal female.
After additional symptoms reared their ugly head, my friend changed doctors, and headed to the Big City and UCLA to look for help. She was diagnosed rather quickly with, lymphoma. Her daughter is my son's age and they are friends, her other three kids are close to the age of my own.
This hits close to home, but nothing moves you away from your own set of circumstances than a friend in need. I say all of this to say a couple of things. We are never more centered than when we serve our fellow man, reach inside ourselves and know that we are part of the BIGGER picture in this world. When we pick up the load and carry it for our brother or sister we are doing what we are here to do.
It's not the material things of this earth that make us successful as human beings, but recognizing the needs of others in pain ( any kind of pain ) and doing what we can to lighten the load and lift a spirit. It's doing our part, no matter how small or large that counts.
She has blessed me in so many ways and she continues to do as she allows me to give a little back. I see her healed, strong, and happy....only positive thoughts going her way....I love you Shelly.
Last year she wasn't feeling her best, and she is a powerhouse, take charge and plow through, type of gal. I substituted in her classroom several times for her last year ( even though first grade is really not my thing..oh my), as well as co-chaired a fund raiser for our PATS Choir group to help her out. It was a bit of a messy year, as they can sometimes be, and she felt like a failure. She grumbled a lot about her health issues, being tired, low fever, swelling of the neck, and the doctors could find nothing wrong with her.
She forged ahead in her usual fashion, all the while feeling like a complaining menopausal female.
After additional symptoms reared their ugly head, my friend changed doctors, and headed to the Big City and UCLA to look for help. She was diagnosed rather quickly with, lymphoma. Her daughter is my son's age and they are friends, her other three kids are close to the age of my own.
This hits close to home, but nothing moves you away from your own set of circumstances than a friend in need. I say all of this to say a couple of things. We are never more centered than when we serve our fellow man, reach inside ourselves and know that we are part of the BIGGER picture in this world. When we pick up the load and carry it for our brother or sister we are doing what we are here to do.
It's not the material things of this earth that make us successful as human beings, but recognizing the needs of others in pain ( any kind of pain ) and doing what we can to lighten the load and lift a spirit. It's doing our part, no matter how small or large that counts.
She has blessed me in so many ways and she continues to do as she allows me to give a little back. I see her healed, strong, and happy....only positive thoughts going her way....I love you Shelly.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Yes, It IS OK to Change
Inspiration sometimes comes from places we would never have expected. Perhaps because we never took the time, while going through the motions of our daily lives to stop and look. I found this while ( SURPRISE!) reading and searching for inspiration:
"I've also learned it's OK to change. Sometimes it's not just OK, but mandatory. You can let go of some beliefs that maybe have served you well along the way, but just don't work for you anymore. We're supposed to grow and evolve. We have to give ourselves the permission and freedom to stay open to change.
I'm not talking about running away or having plastic surgery or a dye job. I'm not talking about throwing away our core principles and values and morals. I'm talking about exactly the opposite. I'm talking about letting life's experiences affect you and mature you." Maria Shriver
I must confess I do like a little "touch up", especially now that I have become a "Classic 55" , and I am not ashamed to admit it. Be that as it may, I love the idea of evolving and moving forward in spirtual growth, to be the best that God intended for me to be.........all for the greater good.
"I've also learned it's OK to change. Sometimes it's not just OK, but mandatory. You can let go of some beliefs that maybe have served you well along the way, but just don't work for you anymore. We're supposed to grow and evolve. We have to give ourselves the permission and freedom to stay open to change.
I'm not talking about running away or having plastic surgery or a dye job. I'm not talking about throwing away our core principles and values and morals. I'm talking about exactly the opposite. I'm talking about letting life's experiences affect you and mature you." Maria Shriver
I must confess I do like a little "touch up", especially now that I have become a "Classic 55" , and I am not ashamed to admit it. Be that as it may, I love the idea of evolving and moving forward in spirtual growth, to be the best that God intended for me to be.........all for the greater good.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Let's Take A Walk
Never forget...it's only an illusion that you're all alone in this world and that it's entirely up to you to do everything for yourself.
We never travel this road alone, along the way we pick up relationships that imprint our hearts and souls for a lifetime, or a brief moment. We take in the experience and we choose to take something positive from it as we move forward. Sometimes we just get stuck, caught up so deeply in the thickness that we cannot seem to move left or right or forward. Free will, the freedom to choose and make a decision becomes muddled inside ourselves.
The road ahead looks inviting, you can't see what is around the corner, or over the hill, but you can sense it's beauty, freshness, and cool breeze. Don't be afraid to take a step or a gentle walk.
We never travel this road alone, along the way we pick up relationships that imprint our hearts and souls for a lifetime, or a brief moment. We take in the experience and we choose to take something positive from it as we move forward. Sometimes we just get stuck, caught up so deeply in the thickness that we cannot seem to move left or right or forward. Free will, the freedom to choose and make a decision becomes muddled inside ourselves.
The road ahead looks inviting, you can't see what is around the corner, or over the hill, but you can sense it's beauty, freshness, and cool breeze. Don't be afraid to take a step or a gentle walk.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
MY NEW LOOK
Yes, the last time I said that I had returned from Santa Barbara with a new face. Swollen, a tiny bit bruised, but guaranteed "NEW". My oldest daughter accompanied me on that trip, and unforgivably used the experience and pictures ( taken while I was under sedation) as fodder for her blog. Oh, yes she did! Unbelievable isn't it, that was over 2 years ago and I still can't believe she did that.
All is forgiven because, not only has she introduced me to an incredible friend of hers in blog land , but she designed my new look on my favorite road. Thank you Amy for the "face lift", I truly adore it.......WOW!!!
It's pretty wonderful. I feel that I have a , I don't want to say new lease on life, but a clearer picture of where I am going . That is why I love this road, it represents change, a new destination and see how pretty the road is lined with trees and pastures. Our journeys are taking us places where we can grow in the "light"..............gotta love it.
Thank you Crys, for the gentle nudge, and Amy for the beautiful new design.
All is forgiven because, not only has she introduced me to an incredible friend of hers in blog land , but she designed my new look on my favorite road. Thank you Amy for the "face lift", I truly adore it.......WOW!!!
It's pretty wonderful. I feel that I have a , I don't want to say new lease on life, but a clearer picture of where I am going . That is why I love this road, it represents change, a new destination and see how pretty the road is lined with trees and pastures. Our journeys are taking us places where we can grow in the "light"..............gotta love it.
Thank you Crys, for the gentle nudge, and Amy for the beautiful new design.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Getting Ready
It has been a week full of Spring Cleaning Projects that would boggle the mind and cause every muscle in ones body to yelp. Why? It's vacation time, school is out and months of teaching have come to a close. I turn into Suzy homemaker, Suzy housekeeper, dog groomer, grunge fighter, landscape gardener, and trash hauler. After a certain age we Baby Boomers strive for minimizing our clutter. We delve deep into our life's accomplishments,we look thoughtfully to our future years. What do we see? What is important now, that was not 25 years ago and we begin to remove what we no longer deem important. We are reaccessing lots of things.
I think we enjoy life more and see it as a gift. We see the people in our lives differently as well. It's not so much about how much time we spend , but that the time we do spend together has some meaning and is genuine. It is the simple things in life that really gives us a sense of belonging, loving, caring and value. The saying, "life is a stage and everyone plays a part", is true. Sometimes we are the lead role, understudy, character actor who provides the "filler" moments or simply scenery. Each part matters, and contributes an intricate part to the whole performance. I am so lucky to share moments with such unique people, that I call my family.
I am off ( I could stop there and no one would argue with me...) to enjoy 8 wonderful days with my son and grand kids. This is the annual trip that I have been doing..we have been doing since the boys were 6 years old ( 17, 16 now). It is my time to take them in ( soulfully), watch, laugh and completely enjoy how wonderfully blessed I am. These kids make me laugh and relax like no one I have known. They let me know that this generation has purpose and can be trusted with the world we leave them. A little heavy....yeah a bit, but I'm the mom and the Nana and I'm allowed.
SO OAHU HERE WE COME!
note to friend..yes 8 not 10 ... a little bit of fog and wishful thinking popped in there ;0)
pictures to follow!!
I think we enjoy life more and see it as a gift. We see the people in our lives differently as well. It's not so much about how much time we spend , but that the time we do spend together has some meaning and is genuine. It is the simple things in life that really gives us a sense of belonging, loving, caring and value. The saying, "life is a stage and everyone plays a part", is true. Sometimes we are the lead role, understudy, character actor who provides the "filler" moments or simply scenery. Each part matters, and contributes an intricate part to the whole performance. I am so lucky to share moments with such unique people, that I call my family.
I am off ( I could stop there and no one would argue with me...) to enjoy 8 wonderful days with my son and grand kids. This is the annual trip that I have been doing..we have been doing since the boys were 6 years old ( 17, 16 now). It is my time to take them in ( soulfully), watch, laugh and completely enjoy how wonderfully blessed I am. These kids make me laugh and relax like no one I have known. They let me know that this generation has purpose and can be trusted with the world we leave them. A little heavy....yeah a bit, but I'm the mom and the Nana and I'm allowed.
SO OAHU HERE WE COME!
note to friend..yes 8 not 10 ... a little bit of fog and wishful thinking popped in there ;0)
pictures to follow!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Last Week of May
Oh yes, it is the last week of May. Schools are winding down for summer vacation and it is celebrated by FINALS WEEK. What stress, what pressure, what a relief when it is over. How much worse could the last week of May Be? Try getting food poisoning the day before finals.
My poor kid, he has thrown up maybe 3 times in his whole life, ok not counting the first few months he was on the planet. He is a picky eater to say the least and he finally broadens his culinary palette and gets FOOD POISONING! After much research, I discover that one does not call this the stomach flu, no no. That implies it would be caused by the influenza virus..no this is a viral infection that lies in wait in the lower intestine...gross. Highly contagious ( yes wash EVERTHING ) and deadly nasty. So the attack waits until Monday to hit and finals begin on Tuesday morning. The kid has carried a 3.8 GPA all year and the only borderline grades he has going into this are 2 high B's that could change to A's resulting in the much desired and sought after 4.0 GPA. No pressure here.
He can't lift his head off the pillow Tuesday morning , he tried..nope not gonna happen. His fever finally broke Tuesday night around 11:00 and Wednesday morning ( after missing 2 Finals ) does not look much better. This poor kid, he was fortunate ( if one can call it that) enough to be able to schedule 3 for tomorrow and 1 for Friday morning. Dear gracious............this has made me sick!
My poor kid, he has thrown up maybe 3 times in his whole life, ok not counting the first few months he was on the planet. He is a picky eater to say the least and he finally broadens his culinary palette and gets FOOD POISONING! After much research, I discover that one does not call this the stomach flu, no no. That implies it would be caused by the influenza virus..no this is a viral infection that lies in wait in the lower intestine...gross. Highly contagious ( yes wash EVERTHING ) and deadly nasty. So the attack waits until Monday to hit and finals begin on Tuesday morning. The kid has carried a 3.8 GPA all year and the only borderline grades he has going into this are 2 high B's that could change to A's resulting in the much desired and sought after 4.0 GPA. No pressure here.
He can't lift his head off the pillow Tuesday morning , he tried..nope not gonna happen. His fever finally broke Tuesday night around 11:00 and Wednesday morning ( after missing 2 Finals ) does not look much better. This poor kid, he was fortunate ( if one can call it that) enough to be able to schedule 3 for tomorrow and 1 for Friday morning. Dear gracious............this has made me sick!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Vacation Time Again....Schools Out!
Who knew planning a vacation could be so difficult..well I should have. For years we have traveled from the West Coast to the East, a mecca for lovers of American History. Last year, I was convinced that teenagers needed a cool Tropical oasis to relax and rejuvenate their tired brains. We opted for Oahu, I was not overly enthused about it, but I was a good sport. It was one of the most enjoyable trips we have taken. It was filled with relaxation, beautiful undaunting scenery, and FUN!
Fun, came in a variety of different experiences. We enjoyed jetskiing, snorkeling, sailing, para sailing, walking, touring historical sites ( ahh come on ....WWII history..Pearl Harbor) and driving around the island. It was a vacation too perfect, and so wonderful. So much so, we opted to return this year. However, someone could not make up "his or her mind" and time got away from us as well as airline fares...now we are struggling to come up with A PLAN!
I don't mind admitting that I tend to be a bit anal about vacation plans, itineraries, documents, etc, and plan way in advance...months actually. LAST MINUTE is NOT my thing....I HATE IT!
Nonetheless, here I am..attempting to plan the perfect trip..why?
This is my Birthday present, Christmas present, Mother's Day present and all holidays in between present. I love this time, I am alone with my kids, my grandkids and we are carefree and just hanging loose. Memories are made that will last a lifetime and beyond and I cherish every precious minute of it. Now, I am stressing about the PLAN. We will pull this one out of the fire and it will be wonderful and a new experience too. I am traveling with teenagers..ALL 3 for the first time..WOW! My babies are growing up.
I guess that is one reason why this will be special, you never know at this age if this will be the last trip they want to take. I am mindful of their age, their need for the apron string to lengthen a bit....I did mention the surfing they did last year didn't I? What a blessing, what a thrill , what great kids, yes no matter what we are doing it will be , A VACATION TO REMEMBER!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
A Little Slice of Katie Heaven
I know all Nana's think they are blessed to have the most wonderful grandchildren on the planet. However, I have them beat hands down. Yes, I am afraid that it is true, and to put it in the words of the famous Buzz Lightyear, I adore them "from infinity and beyond."
It happens to be my granddaughter's birthday on Monday. She is finally a teenager..13 years old. I know my daughter is wondering where in the world the time has gone and as her Nana, I can only say...ditto. I love all three of my grandbabies, but this one..well I watched her make her entrance into this world. I rocked her to sleep the first nights of her life, and nearly every night for the few weeks they lived with me. She melted my heart and has left an inprint on my soul.
So what can I tell you about Katie. She is as beautiful, on the inside as she is on the outside. She has a laugh that is so contagious you simply cannot be around her and not be affected by it. She is dependable, honest and a loyal friend. Just ask any of her buds and they will quickly tell you. Not too bad for 13 years of living. She has a pretty good head on her shoulders and a wonderful ability to reason situations out. She is a hard working student and is a great daughter and sister.( Her mother has done a pretty darn good job here ;0) )
Well Katie, it really has been thirteen years and you have blessed me with your love and the joyous pleasure of your company. I cherish every "adventure" we have been on. From the beaches of the Pacific Ocean and the shores of the Atlantic we have giggled our way in and out of situations. =0)
Thank you Katie , for giving my life deeper meaning and joy...I adore you... Happy Birthday !
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Easter Wishes
If I could send an Easter wish to all of my children ( grandchildren alike), I would wish for them to choose to live up to their potential. Sounds a bit grandiose and dramatically stated perhaps, but not in this mother and grandmother's eyes.
I see each one of these marvelous individuals as unique, creative, intelligent, bold, and passionate. They are at all different stages of life and each one faces their own challenges. I know in my spirit that God has given each one, such wonderful gifts and the ability to overcome any obstacle that this world throws at them.
My wish is that they see what I see in them and what God has blessed them with. That they will always look inward and trust what they know is true and then find the courage to follow. I love you all.
I see each one of these marvelous individuals as unique, creative, intelligent, bold, and passionate. They are at all different stages of life and each one faces their own challenges. I know in my spirit that God has given each one, such wonderful gifts and the ability to overcome any obstacle that this world throws at them.
My wish is that they see what I see in them and what God has blessed them with. That they will always look inward and trust what they know is true and then find the courage to follow. I love you all.
Friday, March 14, 2008
We Adapt With Time
The South Street Seaport Village, in NYC, is a bustling center of trendy shops ad eateries. You will find Victoria's Secret, Abercrombie and Fitch, and many more familiar names. Doesn't it look wonderful, the old brick and cobblestones well over 200 years old and yet they are still there, appreciated and in use.
This was once a busy seaport, the reflection of New York as an old seaport town full of trade activity. Merchants, ship chandlers, sailmakers and figurehead carvers took care of business while boarding houses, saloons and brothels took care of pleasure. If these streets could talk, huh?
In 1967, Peter and Norma Stanford paved the way for this wonderful historic area to be perserved, and today many tourists can shop, look up, and down to experience a bit of AMerican History. Gotta Love It!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Times to Enjoy
Life has been interesting lately, it's so nice to feel relaxed and let go. Work has been very slow for a substitute teacher. Probably because California has seen fit to cut the budget for education dramatically. As a result, no one feels comfortable taking a sick day because, it might draw attention to themselves, and a pink slip might follow. So I have been lucky enough to spend a few afternoons with my granddaughter, who attends the Middle School directly behind my house.
She arrives at my front door within minutes of leaving the campus. We will discuss her day, have a light snack and then dive into her History homework. I love hearing her chatter and giggles, and I realize that with the gift of age comes the ability to find pleasure in very simple things.
I am deeply pleased that I spent the time to reenter the academic world, and that I have something to offer that is helpful. It's just nice to watch her enthusiasm, hear her intelligent input, and to watch her process the material and develop an opinion. I love it.
I have also been thrilled to see the same attitude from my grandson, as well as my son. I spent many years taking them on vacations that were filled with historical significance. My challenge was to be able to present it, in such a manner, that they would enjoy it. So, at the tender age of 7 years we would travel from west coast to east, and we would visit Monticello, Mount Vernon, Gettysburg, Bunker Hill, Williamsburg and everything in between.
The key was to throw in a cruise on a Tall Ship, or a steam boat, or perhaps a carriage ride. It meant enrolling little guys into the colonial militia and letting them learn to march and load a black powder musket with a mighty HUZZAH! Now at the ages of 16 and nearly 13 they get it, they even like it. Better yet, they want to discuss their classes...WWI, WWII, European Exploration.......wow.
They stumble and find the work challenging, but they are interested and can form opinions and see patterns in history and that is what it is about. It starts here, with the questions, wanting answers and becoming intellectually involved...they are fine kids...and they are my family! Gush,,gush........I dearly love these kids!
She arrives at my front door within minutes of leaving the campus. We will discuss her day, have a light snack and then dive into her History homework. I love hearing her chatter and giggles, and I realize that with the gift of age comes the ability to find pleasure in very simple things.
I am deeply pleased that I spent the time to reenter the academic world, and that I have something to offer that is helpful. It's just nice to watch her enthusiasm, hear her intelligent input, and to watch her process the material and develop an opinion. I love it.
I have also been thrilled to see the same attitude from my grandson, as well as my son. I spent many years taking them on vacations that were filled with historical significance. My challenge was to be able to present it, in such a manner, that they would enjoy it. So, at the tender age of 7 years we would travel from west coast to east, and we would visit Monticello, Mount Vernon, Gettysburg, Bunker Hill, Williamsburg and everything in between.
The key was to throw in a cruise on a Tall Ship, or a steam boat, or perhaps a carriage ride. It meant enrolling little guys into the colonial militia and letting them learn to march and load a black powder musket with a mighty HUZZAH! Now at the ages of 16 and nearly 13 they get it, they even like it. Better yet, they want to discuss their classes...WWI, WWII, European Exploration.......wow.
They stumble and find the work challenging, but they are interested and can form opinions and see patterns in history and that is what it is about. It starts here, with the questions, wanting answers and becoming intellectually involved...they are fine kids...and they are my family! Gush,,gush........I dearly love these kids!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Flash Backs
This was taken last summer in Oahu, my son ( baby) and my granddaughter ( my favorite redhead). Isn't she beautiful? They are such great kids..and I am deeply proud of them...such changes over the years...and it got me thinking.....
Flash Backs, yes I get them now and again. I was watching my grandson slide in behind the wheel..he is 16 now, and my son was sitting in the backseat..with the pretty redhead. As everyone gets buckled in and the engine begins to hum, I hear the words coming from the backseat, "Well Rookie, where are we off to today?" It wasn't that long ago, or at least it seems, that these two were busy in the backyard washing down the "big wheels" and heading them out to the front sidewalk, while the the little redhead squealed behind them. It goes by too quickly.
These two have been buddies since they were in diapers, and it seemed that they giggled and got into more mischief than my two girls ever did. They have had their "ups and downs" and their time apart as well. 
All three have traveled together from west coast to east, and some over the waters of the Pacific. I never get tired of watching them experience new things and having "adventures"
It's not new, I have seen it before..the growing up before your eyes, but it seems different this time. I have enjoyed the ride and have paid attention, it's more precious to me than I can really explain.
My gosh, they are handsome guys...the "rookie" is wearing black and has ( as my daughter proudly says) a very sweet girlfriend....she is. The veteran driver of 11 months ( counting permit time) is in the white, no girlfriend, but that is another story.The best part is, even though it is sad to see them growing up..I can smile. I have another "rookie" in the gates, getting ready to start her adventures with Nana. That is really another story....she is going to be all 3 of the older ones rolled into one....I might need to call in the veterans for back up! ;0)
Saturday, February 9, 2008
My Home Town
Bakersfield, California, this is my home town. The place that holds my childhood memories ..those of my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. My old neighborhood, my schools, my church and my first love. I have never left here, at 54 years of age I am still here watching the changes and holding onto my memories.
I have watched others leave this town and as time has passed we have reconnected, they ask questions about old landmarks that hold time still for a moment. I have witnessed the turning back of time as we converse about football games and Friday night drives down the main drag in town, Chester Avenue.
I remember the sweet smell of fresh cut grass on a warm June day, and evenings chasing junebugs and playing hide and seek. I remember walks in the rain, picnics, and good-byes at the Santa Fe Railroad Station. I remember making 21 birthday cakes and sending them on a Greyhound bus to Mullins Hall, at Montana State University, and rotary dialed telephones. I remember Wha-Hoo Games, my dad's crazy laugh and my mom's loving way of scolding him.
I remember family friends, vacations at Huntington Lake, water skiing in icy water and dancing to the sounds of 45's. I remember when milk came in glass bottles and so did Pepsi and Dr. Pepper and all the varieties in between, when a pack of gum was a nickle and a candy bar a dime.Yeah...just about a perfect childhood, it was all about, family, community, church and friends. Here in a little town called Bakersfield.
Bakersfield is not so little any more we are well over 300,000 and growing..what a shock from the rural agricultural and petro town of the 40's.
I have watched others leave this town and as time has passed we have reconnected, they ask questions about old landmarks that hold time still for a moment. I have witnessed the turning back of time as we converse about football games and Friday night drives down the main drag in town, Chester Avenue.
I remember the sweet smell of fresh cut grass on a warm June day, and evenings chasing junebugs and playing hide and seek. I remember walks in the rain, picnics, and good-byes at the Santa Fe Railroad Station. I remember making 21 birthday cakes and sending them on a Greyhound bus to Mullins Hall, at Montana State University, and rotary dialed telephones. I remember Wha-Hoo Games, my dad's crazy laugh and my mom's loving way of scolding him.
I remember family friends, vacations at Huntington Lake, water skiing in icy water and dancing to the sounds of 45's. I remember when milk came in glass bottles and so did Pepsi and Dr. Pepper and all the varieties in between, when a pack of gum was a nickle and a candy bar a dime.Yeah...just about a perfect childhood, it was all about, family, community, church and friends. Here in a little town called Bakersfield.
Bakersfield is not so little any more we are well over 300,000 and growing..what a shock from the rural agricultural and petro town of the 40's.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
A Thought
I was watching a movie the other evening ..alone, because it was one of those movies. The kind some people find boring, or too dramatic. It was about life and death and it was done very well.
A mother was lying in bed and she had around the clock hospice care ( I know...depressing..geez), but it really wasn't. The movie was told from the point of view of the patient and it was about her last 26 hours. She was remembering her life and her choices,while her two daughters were coming in and out of the room in the hope of capturing a few "true" moments with her. She had lucid moments, and at other times she would awake from dreams about times that were pivotal in her life, and say a few words relating to those situations. The girls took it at face value and dismissed it as senseless chatter brought about by the medication.
What was interesting was, what she was saying made sense, if they had looked beyond their own desperate need to connect. I know I have been guilty of this, desperately trying to connect in order to satisfy my own need, instead of patiently waiting, listening and simply hearing what was being said.
Just a thought. =0)
A mother was lying in bed and she had around the clock hospice care ( I know...depressing..geez), but it really wasn't. The movie was told from the point of view of the patient and it was about her last 26 hours. She was remembering her life and her choices,while her two daughters were coming in and out of the room in the hope of capturing a few "true" moments with her. She had lucid moments, and at other times she would awake from dreams about times that were pivotal in her life, and say a few words relating to those situations. The girls took it at face value and dismissed it as senseless chatter brought about by the medication.
What was interesting was, what she was saying made sense, if they had looked beyond their own desperate need to connect. I know I have been guilty of this, desperately trying to connect in order to satisfy my own need, instead of patiently waiting, listening and simply hearing what was being said.
Just a thought. =0)
Lyrics That Ring True
Your're Gonna Miss This- Artist Trace Adkins, Lyrics by
She was starin out the window of their SUV Complainin sayin I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money And I'll make my own rules
Momma put the car in park out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head, and said 'I was just like you
' You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment And her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place She says, 'It'll do for now'
Starts talkin' about babies, and buyin a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says baby just slow down
Cuz' you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
Five years later there's a plumber
Workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin' one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got two babies of my own
One's thirty- six, one's twenty- three
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' miss this
Yeaahhhh... you're gonna' miss this...
and that's all the explanation there is...
She was starin out the window of their SUV Complainin sayin I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money And I'll make my own rules
Momma put the car in park out there in front of the school
And she kissed her head, and said 'I was just like you
' You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment And her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place She says, 'It'll do for now'
Starts talkin' about babies, and buyin a house
Daddy shakes his head
And says baby just slow down
Cuz' you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
Five years later there's a plumber
Workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin' one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got two babies of my own
One's thirty- six, one's twenty- three
Huh, it's hard to believe
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' miss this
Yeaahhhh... you're gonna' miss this...
and that's all the explanation there is...
Friday, February 1, 2008
The flu bug is on his way out of the house, and it has been a week..oh boy!
Yesterday was the first real day that my son felt like getting up and actually wearing "real" clothes instead of pj's. So to celebrate ( sure you have to celebrate the positive) we took a ride over to a favorite town of ours and had lunch ( no he's not contagious ..so it was ALL GOOD!).
The hills were beautiful and green and the skies a bit overcast, but what a wonderful drive and opportunity to chat, laugh and share the day. I have so much to be thankful for..even though it may sound as if it has been gloom and doom.
Life throws you curves and we have opportunities to handle them with grace or get down and wallow or retaliate....it just leads to more of the same. Bad habits are hard to break, but if I can learn to change bad eatting habits, anything is possible...30 lbs lighter and 10 more to go...yeehah!!
Lean not unto your own understanding.....
NICE!
Yesterday was the first real day that my son felt like getting up and actually wearing "real" clothes instead of pj's. So to celebrate ( sure you have to celebrate the positive) we took a ride over to a favorite town of ours and had lunch ( no he's not contagious ..so it was ALL GOOD!).
The hills were beautiful and green and the skies a bit overcast, but what a wonderful drive and opportunity to chat, laugh and share the day. I have so much to be thankful for..even though it may sound as if it has been gloom and doom.
Life throws you curves and we have opportunities to handle them with grace or get down and wallow or retaliate....it just leads to more of the same. Bad habits are hard to break, but if I can learn to change bad eatting habits, anything is possible...30 lbs lighter and 10 more to go...yeehah!!
Lean not unto your own understanding.....
NICE!
Day By Day
There’s no one-size-fits-all kind of answer for forgiveness,” says Denise. “For each of us, the struggle will be individual. But what I found in the long run, was that forgiveness was the key to real freedom in my life.”
This is a quote from the new book by Denise Jackson, It's All About Him, I find myself holding onto the book and going back and reading passages. It is healing and guiding, if that makes any sense. She quotes scriptures before each new chapter, or quotes a line from an old hymn, or even one of Alan's songs if it works..and it seems to.
I have felt deeply betrayed and wounded, I have deeply betrayed and wounded others. Yes, I have both given and received and it is an ugly business. For myself, I just know that when I let go of the hurt and anger ( which is really the root of what caused the action ) healing and peace can begin. I know I can not do any of this on my own because I have tried for 20 years, IT DOES NOT WORK!
I have found out that doing it on my own in my own power only causes more of the same thing. Healing comes from forgiveness and when it seems impossible to do, then we allow Him to do it through us.....daily.
In my own power I am nothing , but I can do anything through God who strengthens me. ;0)
This is not meant to be preachy, but to show that I am being obedient to what God has called me do. It is my confession of faith and attempts of making baby steps in a world that I have seen too much bitterness in. Actions that have directly torn my family apart, hurt my grown children in ways that I could not see coming, and would have bet money that it would not be possible. I know the power of prayer and the power in trusting Him.
This is a quote from the new book by Denise Jackson, It's All About Him, I find myself holding onto the book and going back and reading passages. It is healing and guiding, if that makes any sense. She quotes scriptures before each new chapter, or quotes a line from an old hymn, or even one of Alan's songs if it works..and it seems to.
I have felt deeply betrayed and wounded, I have deeply betrayed and wounded others. Yes, I have both given and received and it is an ugly business. For myself, I just know that when I let go of the hurt and anger ( which is really the root of what caused the action ) healing and peace can begin. I know I can not do any of this on my own because I have tried for 20 years, IT DOES NOT WORK!
I have found out that doing it on my own in my own power only causes more of the same thing. Healing comes from forgiveness and when it seems impossible to do, then we allow Him to do it through us.....daily.
In my own power I am nothing , but I can do anything through God who strengthens me. ;0)
This is not meant to be preachy, but to show that I am being obedient to what God has called me do. It is my confession of faith and attempts of making baby steps in a world that I have seen too much bitterness in. Actions that have directly torn my family apart, hurt my grown children in ways that I could not see coming, and would have bet money that it would not be possible. I know the power of prayer and the power in trusting Him.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
A Visit From the Flu Bug
The flu bug has hit our house. My daughter was kind enough to send me an email that announced that our town was on HIGH ALERT for the flu. I called the high school this morning ,where my son attends, and tried to clear his absence. For the first time that I can recall, the system went to auto pilot, asking me to use the automated line to clear. That's a pretty good indication that my kid is not the only one out today.
There is something about the flu that makes you feel guilty, when you are not the victim. At 16 , I just want to stand at the door and throw things to him. I have a can of Lysol Spray in one hand and antibacterial soap in the other. The poor kid looks like an alien, glassy eyed and red. He seems to speak a new language as well, moans accentuated with a few grunts and quiet utterances. Poor Thing.
Yes, I go in regularly, feel his head, change the sheets, bring in iced sodas, milk shakes ( home-made), hot lemonade ( well powdered Vitamin C with Splenda....it's not bad and it's good for what ails ya! ;0) He has very little appetite , but craves the liquid. I'm just going to settle in for one of those weeks, we have had storms for a week and now the flu bug has decided to visit..it could be worse..I could get it ( Yikes!!)
There is something about the flu that makes you feel guilty, when you are not the victim. At 16 , I just want to stand at the door and throw things to him. I have a can of Lysol Spray in one hand and antibacterial soap in the other. The poor kid looks like an alien, glassy eyed and red. He seems to speak a new language as well, moans accentuated with a few grunts and quiet utterances. Poor Thing.
Yes, I go in regularly, feel his head, change the sheets, bring in iced sodas, milk shakes ( home-made), hot lemonade ( well powdered Vitamin C with Splenda....it's not bad and it's good for what ails ya! ;0) He has very little appetite , but craves the liquid. I'm just going to settle in for one of those weeks, we have had storms for a week and now the flu bug has decided to visit..it could be worse..I could get it ( Yikes!!)
Learning to Walk Again
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My day is usually filled with an inner stress, especially when I am around certain people. I try so hard to fight it, but it's there and I feel it wash away when I am alone. That was never me, to be filled with stress, anger, and so many negatively charged emotions.I remember when I felt peace and joy in my life. That was because I was not focusing on myself and how "things" effected me. Each day I feel renewed in the fact that it is not about "ME", it's about HIM. There is joy in my salvation, there is joy in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and there is joy knowing that I can lay my burden down and not only will HE carry it for me ...HE gives me peace...it's in His time, in His time, He moves when we listen and obey.
I know I alone cannot love what is happening in my life, some things we just do not have control over, and rightfully so. As parents we worry, we take things personally and we hurt. As human -beings, we make stupid mistakes, we hurt people we love out of ignorance and stupidity. When I remember to begin my day by giving it to my Father, then He reminds me ...to be still, do not speak harshly, it's not your place to criticise, focus on the positive things of this world. I feel peaceful, I slip ( a lot) because old habits are hard to break, but the reward is calmness in my heart when I listen.
My day is usually filled with an inner stress, especially when I am around certain people. I try so hard to fight it, but it's there and I feel it wash away when I am alone. That was never me, to be filled with stress, anger, and so many negatively charged emotions.I remember when I felt peace and joy in my life. That was because I was not focusing on myself and how "things" effected me. Each day I feel renewed in the fact that it is not about "ME", it's about HIM. There is joy in my salvation, there is joy in my relationship with Jesus Christ, and there is joy knowing that I can lay my burden down and not only will HE carry it for me ...HE gives me peace...it's in His time, in His time, He moves when we listen and obey.
I know I alone cannot love what is happening in my life, some things we just do not have control over, and rightfully so. As parents we worry, we take things personally and we hurt. As human -beings, we make stupid mistakes, we hurt people we love out of ignorance and stupidity. When I remember to begin my day by giving it to my Father, then He reminds me ...to be still, do not speak harshly, it's not your place to criticise, focus on the positive things of this world. I feel peaceful, I slip ( a lot) because old habits are hard to break, but the reward is calmness in my heart when I listen.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Time Flies
Saturday was my oldest child's birthday, my daughter Amy. She was 32 years old , wow!
It seems as though it was 4 lifetimes ago, when I think of the night she was born. I was 22 years old, frightened, immature, and pretending to be alright in the world I had created for myself.
As new elements were introduced into my world I realized how little I really knew about who I was. I was just beginning to figure that out when I said "yes" to a wedding proposal. I was still trying to figure it out when I found out I was going to be a mother, and totally lost after I became one. My life changed completely the moment she was born and my focus was on being the best mom I could be.
You never realize how you are going to feel, you can imagine it, but you don't know until you are able to walk again ( normally) and everyone has gone home. There you are , just you and this little person you feel as though you single handily brought into the world. You fall into a role, you think of all the things you read, the advise from friends and mom and you put one foot in front of the other. You make decisions about your career, are you going forward with it or will you stay home with the baby? I chose to stay home, probably a mistake, but hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? Pretty soon , here it is 3 children later and your oldest is 32...wow!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
It seems as though it was 4 lifetimes ago, when I think of the night she was born. I was 22 years old, frightened, immature, and pretending to be alright in the world I had created for myself.
As new elements were introduced into my world I realized how little I really knew about who I was. I was just beginning to figure that out when I said "yes" to a wedding proposal. I was still trying to figure it out when I found out I was going to be a mother, and totally lost after I became one. My life changed completely the moment she was born and my focus was on being the best mom I could be.
You never realize how you are going to feel, you can imagine it, but you don't know until you are able to walk again ( normally) and everyone has gone home. There you are , just you and this little person you feel as though you single handily brought into the world. You fall into a role, you think of all the things you read, the advise from friends and mom and you put one foot in front of the other. You make decisions about your career, are you going forward with it or will you stay home with the baby? I chose to stay home, probably a mistake, but hindsight is 20/20 isn't it? Pretty soon , here it is 3 children later and your oldest is 32...wow!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
He is Still Here
Even when the rain falls
Even when the floods start rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
I just love this, thank you Bobby! This was such a gift and it makes me feel "GOOD"!
Each day is a challenge to stay focused on Him, it's easy to fall back into old patterns of being negative. That doesn't happpen when you ask for help and you are sincere in your search. It's so funny, when I find my mind wandering I find Him, or He finds me. I love being HERE, knowing in my heart He is holding my hand. It's all going to be ok.
Even when the floods start rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water
I just love this, thank you Bobby! This was such a gift and it makes me feel "GOOD"!
Each day is a challenge to stay focused on Him, it's easy to fall back into old patterns of being negative. That doesn't happpen when you ask for help and you are sincere in your search. It's so funny, when I find my mind wandering I find Him, or He finds me. I love being HERE, knowing in my heart He is holding my hand. It's all going to be ok.
Monday, January 14, 2008
A New Driver
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.- Proverbs 3:5-6
I was raised on the word of God. As a child of the 50's, my mother would gather all 4 of us together on Saturday night. My three older brothers brought out the newspaper and placed their Sunday shoes on them and brought out the shoe polish and buffed those shoes until they shined. My hair was washed and put into rollers and I slept on them all night long, if you can call that sleeping. It was a habit, a way of life, an expectation that I would accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord. I publicly accepted Christ at the age of 9 in my family church, Chester Avenue Baptist Church. I was Baptised by Reverend Mason, in front of the congregation and didn't feel any different when I left the baptismal waters as when I went in. I proudly memorized my Bible verses and participated in children's programs and vacation Bible school. I loved church.
As I grew older and circumstances called us away from my family church it was hard to still feel connected to God. We were in a different church, but the joy wasn't there, maybe because it was about the church family and not about my relationship with God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit..the Holy 3. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I discovered what I had been missing, the close relationship with a "friend", the burning desire to spend more time in prayer, searching for God's will in my life. That's when I began to hear about the"glow" that draws people to other people ..the inner glow of a life lived according to God's purpose.
I had a wonderful friend in Christ and several church friends that I felt a true kindred spirit with. They are still my friends today, even though our lives have changed so much sense those "young" days. We have all been divorced and gone our different directions, yes it happens. Some of us fall and trip and lose the glow that was so special in our lives. We continue to search for what is missing and wonder why things have become such a mess. The thought crosses our minds many times over the years, "the part that is missing is your personal relationship with your "friend". " Remember how you longed to talk to him and how you shared time together?
God has placed me in positions a few times in my life where I was so alone the only thing I could do was look up and say, " ok would you like to chat with me today?" When I would not pay attention, He would send messages to me through strangers, road signs, you name it. Well this time he has sent me a message through a book that just kept appearing where ever I turned during the Christmas Holiday. I finally ordered it, not really knowing why and sure it would only sit and collect dust. I picked it up a week after it arrived and finished it in a day and a half.
I can't tell you why but this book has struck such a cord with me that I am ready again for the "ride" that begins with me in the passenger seat.
It's All About Him...written by Denise Jackson
I am sure glad she listens to the little voice in her heart and questions, but follows where she is led.
Forget the former things do not dwell upon the past. See I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:16, 18-19
Thank you
I was raised on the word of God. As a child of the 50's, my mother would gather all 4 of us together on Saturday night. My three older brothers brought out the newspaper and placed their Sunday shoes on them and brought out the shoe polish and buffed those shoes until they shined. My hair was washed and put into rollers and I slept on them all night long, if you can call that sleeping. It was a habit, a way of life, an expectation that I would accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord. I publicly accepted Christ at the age of 9 in my family church, Chester Avenue Baptist Church. I was Baptised by Reverend Mason, in front of the congregation and didn't feel any different when I left the baptismal waters as when I went in. I proudly memorized my Bible verses and participated in children's programs and vacation Bible school. I loved church.
As I grew older and circumstances called us away from my family church it was hard to still feel connected to God. We were in a different church, but the joy wasn't there, maybe because it was about the church family and not about my relationship with God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit..the Holy 3. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I discovered what I had been missing, the close relationship with a "friend", the burning desire to spend more time in prayer, searching for God's will in my life. That's when I began to hear about the"glow" that draws people to other people ..the inner glow of a life lived according to God's purpose.
I had a wonderful friend in Christ and several church friends that I felt a true kindred spirit with. They are still my friends today, even though our lives have changed so much sense those "young" days. We have all been divorced and gone our different directions, yes it happens. Some of us fall and trip and lose the glow that was so special in our lives. We continue to search for what is missing and wonder why things have become such a mess. The thought crosses our minds many times over the years, "the part that is missing is your personal relationship with your "friend". " Remember how you longed to talk to him and how you shared time together?
God has placed me in positions a few times in my life where I was so alone the only thing I could do was look up and say, " ok would you like to chat with me today?" When I would not pay attention, He would send messages to me through strangers, road signs, you name it. Well this time he has sent me a message through a book that just kept appearing where ever I turned during the Christmas Holiday. I finally ordered it, not really knowing why and sure it would only sit and collect dust. I picked it up a week after it arrived and finished it in a day and a half.
I can't tell you why but this book has struck such a cord with me that I am ready again for the "ride" that begins with me in the passenger seat.
It's All About Him...written by Denise Jackson
I am sure glad she listens to the little voice in her heart and questions, but follows where she is led.
Forget the former things do not dwell upon the past. See I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:16, 18-19
Thank you
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
It's the Way Love Goes
The holidays are a time to reflect and cherish family. To remember those who are not with us anymore, but who have left an imprint so vivid and warm on our souls they will never be forgotten. Hotlines to heaven are not possible, we can't pick up the phone and dial the heavenly spheres and hear that special voice we long for. However, we can come together as a family and see through every generation the genetic connection, the string that connects each of us. In the midst of that we see our loved one. The laugh, the twinkle in the eye, the way GJ holds his head, Amy's wicked sense of humor, and all of it connects us to the generations of loved ones that came before us.We use to all hold up our thumbs and look at the curve, and my mother would say," yes, there it is that's Grandpa Stowers thumb," or it was,"look another redhead, there is only one in every generation and that goes back to great grandma Sarah." We are connected in ways we never really pay attention to.
Wow, family is such a great,wonderful gift. To be able to come together and share laughter, stories, music, and joy because we love one another is a precious gift. Sometimes we only realize it when it is too late. I think my grandchildren understand the "gift", they are my joy for so many reasons. First and foremost because of their own uniqueness, and secondly because of what they represent. They represent life that continues, life that connects them to warm caring people that walked before them. There is a part of me there, my mom, dad, grandparents and when I hug them I feel the warmth of family and unconditional love. What a precious gift.
I received many lovely things for Christmas this year, but the most precious to me were 3 framed pictures. One picture of each of my beautiful grandchildren and me and a time captured in the moment. I think of them often, as I do all of my children, and I feel blessed..mostly. The one that has strayed from the fold, I hurt for and then quickly dismiss because I know all things happen for a reason, for growth and in His time. The love does not stop, nor the appreciation of the gift...it's simply misplaced for now.
I heard a song and thought of my dad who has been in his heavenly home for 10 years and 6 months. He lives in my heart of memories and makes me smile, and my Amy has his humor and playfulness. So, just because we can't see them doesn't mean they are not present in some way or another. We simply have to look around for the twinkle, the chuckle, the prankster and there they are, present and accounted for.
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