I love the quote that will follow this introduction and I have a great deal of respect for the author and her husband. The following is from a blog written by Elisabeth Lepine. I met Elisabeth and her wonderful husband Jeff through my daughter, Megan. Jeff and Meg were majoring in Theatre at CSUB ( and are Alumni) and Elisabeth was an English Major, who brilliantly displayed her acting chops in several University productions.
These kids have such a zest for life and I have admired how they have gone from one adventure to another. They have lived all over and she travels abroad quite a bit now. This Bakersfield, California couple now reside in NYC. Well, as a grandmother, I am looking at this post and can remember thinking, OK, what comes next in life. I have gone from step "a" to step "b", now what are the expectations. In my day it was, "keeping up with the Jone's" and that is what is being asked here. Elisabeth has such a great way of just ..putting it out there. Read on:
"Has our education system set us up to believe large success happens annually? If so, are we setting ourselves up to feel failure? Or, is it that a yearly evaluation is a healthy approach to life and crucial for reaching personal goals? Are we creating a goal-obsessed society that keeps us from being happy in the present?Obviously, I have been thinking about adolescence and our natural vs. forced progression through life.When you are a child, you learn to live life year to year, summer to summer, and accomplishment to accomplishment.
Our educational system logically is split up into years: first, second; freshmen, senior, etc. You are expected to pass these levels each year and following this completion is some form of public congratulation or commencement. Hooray, you've passed grade school...check. Hooray, you've mastered junior high...check. Hooray, you've survived high school...check. This trend even follows you to college. A yearly checklist exists to complete this portion of your life, carrying you successfully from childhood to adulthood. We end up young adults who have gained respect, success, and attention on a yearly basis, proving our worth and hard work. We sequentially cross off our accomplishments year by year. Is our sense of success and accomplishment skewed due to this repetitive advancement through life? How do we reteach ourselves to measure our natural progression? Do we feel failure or incomplete when we don't receive that familiar pat on the back?...which is often followed by someone asking, "what's next?"Hooray, I am an adult...So...what's next? Where is my orderly, sequential, annual checklist? According to some...the next years are as follows: job, car, marriage, pets, kids, bigger car, house, promotion, savings accounts, more kids, SUV, better job, bigger house, more kids, yearly bonuses, grandchildren, retirement, death...done. While striving for the goals is not bad, the pitfall is that it often becomes a distraction. We become preoccupied with that "future something" rather than being content with the present. We may even overlook or ignore an opportunity along the way.
On a much smaller scale, I want to eat slower and enjoy the food, walk and drive slower and appreciate where I am, listen more and value the conversation, and make love longer and savor the sensation."
Well, I can tell you one thing ( Jack Palance.. where are you.."City Slickers"..) you can keep your eye so tightly focused on the goal, that life does indeed pass you by. Your professional work goals can keep you so intensely focused that you miss the joy of your baby's first steps, the first smile, the first kindergarten assembly as they all parade around in their George Washington's hat singing about our first president. Why? At this stage, each goal accomplished means another raise, bonus or the pat on the back that ranks you in the top 5 in your office.
It doesn't stop, you as the adult, must set your priorities. You have to choose where it stops and where your life begins, it's called balance and it generally comes with an overwhelming feeling of awe at the sight of your first born. Or...this is where you become confused about making the money to get the kid to college so he or she can be in the top 5 ranking in the office. You have to choose and that's where all of these Big Questions come into play.
Should women continue in the workforce after the children arrive? Can women really have it all?Why don't men have to choose between career and family obligations? Do we need the bigger home and the larger SUV? How do we measure success?
I think the real joy comes from savoring the moments along the way because they pass so quickly. All we leave behind are memories, I want them to be good ones..I want my children and my grandchildren to remember me with laughter, UGHS and all the other emotions they can muster, but never forget how much they were loved and how much I have enjoyed my life...mistakes and all.
I'm going back to my road now......
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