Just Thinking

Have you ever noticed how life is full of interesting transitions? The early years you are dependent on your family for role modeling, providing life guidelines and expectations. In the preadolescence phase we look to influences outside the immediate family circle. We learn from our peer groups and the influences of our educational system team as our environmental sphere begins to widen. We develop friendships with same gender friends and as we get older we realize the other option isn't too bad and can sort of be tolerated too.

If we are raised by progressive parents, we are stimulated by extracurricular activities, such as team sports, church and community involvement. All of these factors shape our existence and our emotional make-up. They also help us to move through each transition and shape our sphere of influence. We think about what we want to expose or not expose the future generation to and how their experiences will be different from our own. We weigh the positive,the negative and we sift through what we felt were redeemable positive factors. We choose to eliminate those which we felt conflicted about and implement others. It is the circle of life, each generation leaving a mark that says I was here and this is what I have left you. Sift,look,and add something wonderful.

I think about my own childhood influences, exposures and modeling. Church, community service, and family were strong components. I loved the summers because it brought other options. I remember one summer in particular when I was in my early teens. I was exposed to the movies of the 40's. The stations would run them during the late hours of the evening of the summer. TV and late night viewing had a way of connecting me to my mother and her teen years. She provided all of the trivia commentary about my favorite actors, Gable, Turner, Hutton, Mayo, Day, Kelly, Astaire, Rogers, Niven..the list is endless. The 40's musicals were wonderful and the instrumental ingredient that promoted my passion for music. Those moments generated a dialogue between us that was memorable and allowed me to know the teenage girl that lived inside my mother.

Sinatra was the rage in her teen years, for my brothers it was the King, Elvis, and for me, lowest on the totem pole, it was the Beatles. I gravitated towards the bubble gum music of Bobby Vee, Frankie Valli, and loved Frankie Avalon. No matter who it was, once you connect through music, you have an avenue of communication that is endless and offers appreciation for nearly all of it. I loved the war songs, and to hear my mother speak of each one that was special to her gave me insight.

I'll Be Seeing You , was a favorite because she would sing it to my dad before he shipped out. I love that song, I could feel her emotion and innocent love for a sailor when it played. She was only 17 years old when they met and eloped before he hit the Pacific. No matter how many years passed, when that song played the way they looked at one another was through the eyes of 17 and 19 year olds. There was always a silly smile and laugh to go along with it, a secret only they shared.They fondly remembered Roosevelt, fireside chats, and the patriotism that pulled a nation together. That kind of innocence and heroism is what the 40's gave us. Hope and recovery from the Depression that provided the wealth of the 50's for the "Howdy Doody" kids.

My upbringing was not perfect, my parents did not have a College Education. They were the hard working class. They were honest, hard working, and my dad was tempermental. They did their best to raise a family and provide them with the tools needed to pass the baton. I sifted through the lessons learned, eliminated what did not work for me and implemented what I valued. I was not perfect ( am not perfect), my kids aren't perfect, but they are intelligent. They have the ability to sift and make their own decisions about what worked for them and what they desire to pass on to the next generation.

I watch and I worry a bit, but these are their choices, their time and I am learning to be an observer just like my own mother.


I'll be seeing you in every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you