Thinking

It has been a while since I have stopped by to take a load off and check out the view. I run by it, bike by it, and even mountain climb by it, but never long enough to visit. Yes, the gym has been holding me captive for the past month. That is good for me, that means I have been consistent and completely committed to my new project, "me".

This has not been an easy choice or an easy commitment. After every resistance workout ( every other day) I want to soak in the spa, however that isn't real appealing when it is 105 degrees outside in sunny California. It has been one month, one full month and I, well we, have averaged 5 days a week at the gym. Pretty proud of that one and it has been good for my son as well. We did take a short break for my birthday, but the resort we were staying at had a fitness center and we were able to work out there, so all was not lost.

Yes, I just celebrated my 54th birthday, wow it really goes by fast. I lost my mom when she was 57 and it makes me a bit nervous seeing that age quickly approaching. I never miss an opportunity to point out to my kids that life is fragile and can be over before you know it. They see it as a guilt trip and I see it as a horrible tragedy a nightmare that I endured. Guess that's why I am at the gym, hoping to do better than my mother and hang around a bit longer.

I have made choices in my life that I would like to have time to fix. I would love to have time to have a real life with a real companion. Someone who would enjoy sharing my time , thoughts and simply enjoy sharing a sunset with. That would be nice. I wish I had the guts to be selfish and not look back. Someday...